Aux Deux Chefs - Speisekarte

"Oh deux chefs, we wanted to love you so very very much, we found you online, saw some great reviews, saw some promising photos, for ourselves all excited and what happened? A complete and utter culinary disaster! First to soften the blow, which sadly will inevitably follow..The lady who greets you is very amiable and welcoming. The decor is cute and looked so promising. Cute lamps made from bottles and colanders adorn the ceiling, checkered table cloths, one could think they were almost in a Guinguettes. Sadly the Renoir painting was not to be.Before I start what some may see as bashing the restaurant I would like to preempt any criticism. Why didn't I complain about the food, in particular the main course whilst there? Firstly, why should I have to? A good guide or blog doesn't. Why should I have to get confrontational in a situation I have come to merely enjoy? I am after all paying for the privilege of it?Second one of our party was finishing there holiday with this meal so how could I start a massive complaint spoiling our great mood on a lovely August sunny day? Easier said than done.And lastly, we are not talking about a question of taste, or some of ur party not liking the chefs food or whatever. Whoever cooked our main courses cannot cook. They served us inedible food that any chef worth their weight in salt would be ashamed to taste let alone cook themselves. So where, I ask you, does one begin to complain? This isn't even a question of over doing certain aspects of the dish, not one single element was good. We only ate some of the elements to not spoil someone's last Niçois meal before they catch their plane and wave goodbye to their holiday. As an added side note one of the elements of my main course and another person who has the same dish was so inedible, I ate maybe the first two tiny mouthfuls, incredulous as to what the putrid taste I was truly tasting could be, and the very nice but rather useless by now lady asked me did I not like it and I vehemently but as politely as possible said absolutely not, that is not how those are made, there is something wrong with them and her response after everyone was done with the mess that was the food was "can I offer you some homemade chips". Two things, a bit too late now no? And only a gambler in Vegas would gamble again at that table! I was really sad about this whole experience. I really thought it was going to be good hearty unpretentious food. And what we were served was just diabolical. The starter was a great idea but lacked seasoning and seemed to be cooked by a completely different person to the mains since the starter had prawns in it that were cooked in not a great but not too bad a fashion. The starter could have been so promising but did not push me to write a review on trip advisor, the same cannot be said for the mains. My god. No words. The prawns in two peoples dishes were tiny. Why? I'll tell you why not only did they have the cheek to serve two identical kebabs with 2 prawns on one and 3 on the other, but I suppose someone can argue that's a stylistic choice (it's not. It's a stingy choice) but anybody who knows ANYTHING about food and more importantly about cooking meats and seafood knows that if you over cook a prawn (same applies to aforementioned) the size will dramatically decrease, some white mucus like substance comes out to the surface of the shell, the prawn becomes tough, pasty to the palate and develops a weird taste. The only explanation I can think of is the restaurant buys ready cooked prawns and recoils them. To be honest I don't care how they get to this end result, they should hang their heads so very low. For shame. This is an insult to The new culinary revival going on in Nice and to Mediterranean food as a whole, or come to that all food. You cannot serve severely over cooked completely unseasoned tasteless (except for the revolting over cooked tinny taste from the over cooked "meat") prawns. The dish was accompanied by panisses. Which are a local Niçois speciality and sometimes served in Liguria which Nice was once apart of. The lady checked with me I knew what they were. I know them well, does the chef? What I and another of the party was served was not panisse. What was served resembled a serious over fried refried and then fried again for luck fish finger. Sadly that would have tasted at least okay. The oil was definitely old and once you bit into this absolutely putrid concoction (was the gram flour fermented and off ?) inside was a dirty coffee colour. A panisse made by someone who knows what they are doing is yellow it resembles more a farinata/socca not something someone may excrete. For shame!! Literally one of the worst things I've ever had the misfortune of eating. Let's not even go into the coffee spoon size of jus that sat under one of the prawns. I should count myself lucky really as that was dire as well and one of the only times I thanked the heavens there wasn't more of something essential to the dish. Fitting really. Horrid from all angles. The other peoples mains were just as ghastly but I shall let you imagine the horrors as I want to press on. The deserts didn't save the day and Ive already spent to much time wasted on this place. The last kicker is these revolting dishes, mains in particular are not given away. In comparison to other restaurants who make from scratch and all homemade in town which are some very fine cuisine these prices are more expensive, and it's certainly not because they have to pay the rent, the location is by no means in a select area so that cannot be used as an excuse. Added to the fact that the food is barely edible in some instants and entirely inedible in other this is a complete and utter rip off. What a mess! What a disaster! What a house of horrors! As a cheap but parting shot, I have to give credit where credit is due: I didn't get food poisoning."